you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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