Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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