I got chris browned last night
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
