Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize