1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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