It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
