She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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