this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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