new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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