found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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