So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My cat gives me a boner
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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