tonight lets celebrate not being married
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
