ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
