that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
