So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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