i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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