I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
