so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
