I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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