Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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