Redeem this text for a blowjob
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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