hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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