i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize