Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You are the jesus of drinking
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
