I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
