When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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