then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
