Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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