shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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