why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
