If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
