my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
