Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i've created a new STD.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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