At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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