therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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