I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
