ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
