love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
