its not stalking. its research.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize