you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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