Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i think i just naturally attract stoners
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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