So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
