this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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