That's intense
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
