guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
