My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
