I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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