I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
