I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
