GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
my poor anus
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
