if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
