It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
