Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize