Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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