The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
