So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
