There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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