I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
