Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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